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Author: amarllyis

Great Divide

I want to mention at the outset that though I haven’t been sharing individual blog post links on Facebook anymore, I have been here. I’m right here. It’s just that I can’t bring myself to go to that toilet bowl of a Web site anymore. If you’re a regular, you’ll know that social media is a daily horror show on repeat, but I find Facebook particularly nauseating. That’s why you don’t see the links to my blog posts there as I used to share them. I write this here explicitly because a reader sent me a private message today...

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Who Else Could I Be

You wake up to the sun shining through a sheer curtain and look at the time on your phone. It’s 08:08 am. You contemplate why you need to do this, how you’re far away from home, and how no one will know if you go back to sleep and not emerge from the room at a suitable time. Someone might knock on it, yes. But mostly, no one will. So, you pull the duvet over and go back to sleep. It lulls you in, like the tide of the sea, sleep, I mean. You let it all go for...

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I Wish I Was a Punk Rocker

Sometimes I wish I was the kind of person who would be consistent to the point of boring and follow the Korean skincare routine, finish all the products I had flown in all the way from South Korea, and be predictable to myself. I wish that I was the kind of person who would leave the house at the same time every morning and be found at the bus stop at the same minute of every day. Alas, I am not that person. I’m the person who doesn’t know what her week looks like because she wants the unknown...

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One Day Like This

Disclaimer: This is an incoherent rant. Expectations have been set. I refuse to believe that art or literature is an adequate, all-encompassing expression for human life. It’s an excellent outlet and representative, of course, but it’s not comprehensive. Sometimes, words are inadequate to explain how we feel. Additionally despite our “open conversations” these days, I’ve observed that any individual expression that comes from a deeply personal place is not given its due respect unless it lends to a social commentary. You might think talking about mental health, stress, and the seven layers of societal pressure induced by social media would...

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Believer

From now on, I will grow quiet, gesture you in for potato soup I made just that morning. I will become small, steady like the flame in the lantern hung outside my dead grandmother’s house watching the forest fire in the distant with an implacable calm. I will change my body type, my weaknesses, my religion. How about I become a sea worshipper? I will barter my psychedelic dreams for stated visuals like untouched cups of tea, folded towels, an unchanging calendar. I will accept the apologies not given, feel the kindness not received, hug the friends not made....

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