Etiquette got thrown out of the window and was trampled by the passing truck.
I have been meaning to write this post for long now, however, I feel I’m not assertive enough. In spite of my shortcoming, I shall try nonetheless. Much is said about how it’s rude to address a fat woman as fat. Apart from murdering etiquette, over again, you not only hurt her feelings, you also incur her wrath. Trust me you don’t want to be on the side of an enraged woman. Fat. Thin. Tall. Short. Or even one with a moustache. You just don’t want it. However, no one, and I vehemently repeat, no one waxes eloquent on how it’s rude to mock a girl who is thin. Enough about Indian manners.
I am a girl. And I am thin. And I can get enraged. That was issued in public interest, now back to the post. Is it widely believed that thin girls do not have feelings? Or did I miss the memo? Is it okay to mock a thin girl about her weight? Why? Because her parents couldn’t give her the genes or the metabolism which doesn’t allow her to have society-approved body mass? And what is this society-approved body mass, anyway? Am I to understand that a society which cannot collectively decide whether red-ticker news channels should play or not know a great deal about body mass? I have some tough proselytizing to do here.
As a thin girl, I have been the subject of ridicule, mockery, and I have been looked down upon many a times. I have taken it in my stride believing in what Jesus said. I forgave them, for they didn’t know what they were doing. But then, I decided it was time someone took the baton.
When I sporadically attend social gatherings, apart from the usual “Khati nahi hai tu?” (Do you not eat?) I’ve come across a very interesting question which is directed at my parents. First, random people look at me from top to down, like even cheap men don’t check me out. Most of these are aunties who would never approve of me wearing jeans let alone fit into one themselves. (Yes, there is a section of the society like that.) They ask my parents, “Isko khana nahi dete aap?” (Do you not give her food?). To this, I mostly smile and keep quiet. I would like my parents to believe their daughter isn’t great at insulting people. I am curious to know what kind of parents devoid their daughter of food. Is there a culture where parents lock their daughters in a room when dinner is being served? Clearly, I have been living under a rock. Such revelations are very fascinating to me. This stray conversation has a boomerang effect on me when my mother overfeeds me on the dinner table. And that is when I curse those random people for even existing. Next time, I should just call them fat.
Just when I thought I had dealt with being “looked down upon” in a novel way along comes mockery. Girls my age never empathize with me over a table of food. When I have escaped my mother’s overfeeding sessions, I land in situations when I am mocked at resulting in unconscious under-eating. I am excluded from weight discussions and glared at for suggesting that maybe one should just eat what they like. A line I get very often is, “You won’t know what it’s like. Look at you. You’re so thin.” Yes, look at me. Do I look like I care? Hell, no. This usually results in me keeping quiet because I was told not to call fat girls fat. As it turns out, it’s okay to call thin girls thin. Fair.
And finally, there is a constant, ridiculous pressure from everywhere for a thin girl to gain weight. Eat bananas and with milk. Have more portions of food. Join the gym to gain weight. Keep eating until you don’t vomit your guts out. Don’t turn up in public wearing S sized clothes, you’re hurting a lot of sentiments. To be sure, wear two layers of clothes inside so you’re not harassed till you want to punch them in their faces. Because that would land you in jail.
Whatever happened to caring about a thin girl’s feelings? Do we not feel pressurized by the society which has their moral compass under question? Do we not have the right to eat something without being glared at? Do we not have the right to feel comfortable with our bodies? So, what if we’re thin and don’t have fat in the right places? Does that give you the permission to take us to the gallows?
In short, what the fuck is wrong with you people?
What kind of misplaced sadomasochism is that?
And that’s it. I am enraged.
I’m also thin.
Deal with it.