It’s been a while I’ve written something for myself. Mostly, I attribute the negligence to this space to the fact that I do a lot of writing at work, and I’m almost, always saturated. I can’t bring myself to write some more. Fortunately, for me, my work entails something I really like doing—writing. These days, I’ve been doing a lot of decision-making writing. I’ve to set up a story, build up characters, and write possible consequences for various decisions someone might take. When it comes down to setting up a context and fleshing out a character, it’s all good. The tricky part is when I need to write decisions and then consequences for every decision. In a case where I may draft 3 possible decisions that can be taken, I also have to create outcomes for each decision taken and then take the story forward from there. So, at every decision I can keep branching out and writing more consequences which have more decisions. This can go on and on, but thankfully it doesn’t. (There is a point where we do stop.) So, on any given day you’ll find me bent over a decision tree trying to figure out what decision leads to what consequence. When I began writing these “scenarios” as we call it, I was told, you can play God here. Do what you like (in the scope and scheme of things, obviously). At the outset, it sounds like a field day for a writer. Go and explore your creative side. Feel free to write whatever sinister consequences come to your mind. Have a good laugh. But while I’m at it, it is one of the most absorbing and draining things I’ve ever done. There is a lot of permutation and combination happening, and anything I write leads me to write something else. If there weren’t deadlines, it could spiral out of control.

It makes me wonder, is that how God works? Gives us a path with many decisions and lets us choose where we want to go? Yeah, maybe! Now that I think about it, boy he’s got himself a tough job. Even if we assume it doesn’t work that way, this kind of writing makes me wonder how every action of ours leads to a consequence. Reflecting on this, it makes me feel like we pretty much decide our own lives and where we will go. So, if I am here, at this point of time in my life, I brought myself to this. And if I am going to be somewhere else tomorrow, I’m going to take myself there. That’s it. I’m in the driver’s seat here. The only thing is I don’t know how my decision is going to pan out in the future. I don’t know what consequences it might have. And I don’t know where I’ll end up. All I know is I’ve got here and now. And that’s just about it.

I have a quote that is in my Favourite Quotations section on Facebook which I like, “Life is what we make it. Always has been, always will be. – Grandma Moses.”

I think she could have been damned right!

-Sameen