Almost a year ago, an incident occurred that changed the lives of a numerous people around me. I lost a friend to death-Bibhas (better known as Bibs). We lost a friend to death. Our loss is incomparable to the loss of a son to Aunty and Uncle and the loss of a brother to Vaishali. I really don’t know where to begin, but nevertheless I’m going to try…


For all those who knew him, Bibs was much more than just a fun-loving guy. He bound all of us together if I may say so. I particularly spent a lot of time with him in my junior college days. As far as I can recollect, my junior college days comprised mostly of spending time with him and Munawira. Pratik used to join us a couple of times too. Bibs was also in the same classes as me and thus I used to spend some extra time with him after Munawira had left for home or her classes. Whenever I think of Bibs I think of Munawira and so she does share a portion of the space that I’ve kept for him.


I remember all the crazy things he used to do, how he used to neglect his studies and how my classes teacher used to tell me to ask him to study. I did try to get him to his books but I must say I failed miserably. I also remember how much time we used to spend in his room which was so tastefully done. It was painted in lovely bright colours that went so well with his cheerful personality. His room was an extension of himself in all ways. I used to teach him in that room (His mom had appointed me that job.) Again, I don’t think I managed to get past a few sums but, Aunty, I did try very hard! He used to talk about a varied of things with me. The general public would never imagine Bibs could talk about ‘serious stuff’ but he did want to talk a lot especially to make me stop nagging him about studying. I remember talking to him about life in general, about his younger sister (he loved her so much and was so protective about her). I used to be so touched on seeing him care so much about Vaishali that I was glad he called me his sister too. All of us used to meet because most of the time he just wanted to party. ‘Party Time’ he used to SMS us and all of us would just gather together!


After all the fun and games were over and we got absorbed in our ‘Engineering’ lives he left for the States to pursue Aviation. Life had started falling in place for him too. Last year on my birthday was the last time I met him. For the first time since I had known him in 8 years he got me a card. I was delighted. He told me “Sam, next year when I start earning I’ll get you a big gift.” I remember I was ecstatic. That coming from Bibs meant a lot to me. Ten days later, Alankar called me in the morning just as I was about to leave for college to tell me Bibs had passed away. It’s been almost a year and I still can’t come to terms with that fact. I have not been able to gather courage to meet Aunty ever since. For some reason death petrifies me. I can’t imagine how that family has spent a year in that very house because everytime I go near that building I can’t gather courage to climb those stairs. Though I really want to see his room again, I can’t find strength to walk into that house. I think about him quite often and have seen him in my dreams very often but after such things happen I also remember the sleepless nights I have spent, wondering…


I could go on and on but my hands don’t seem to want to, so I guess this is it. I don’t know how to end this; it would help if somebody did it for me…